I've been having a hard time with this move, in many ways. I just haven't adjusted as quickly as I usually have when moving to a new place. Usually, I'm exploring and figuring out what my new area has to offer, and quickly integrate myself into the new place. But, since I've been in Virginia, I've pretty much just kept to myself.
I was trying to figure out why yesterday. I went into DC for work in the early evening, and I realized that it was only the second time I'd been into DC since we moved. Oh, and the first time? It was to deliver some paperwork (again, a necessity), and I literally just went straight where I needed to go and back. I really couldn't figure out why I hadn't explored more, and then it hit me.
It's because this move wasn't about me. Every other time I've moved (well, as an adult, or at least since I headed off to college), it's been because I chose to go there. I moved away to Nashville to go to the college I chose. In the summer when I went to New York, it was because I wanted to go to New York, and it was so that I could intern at Time Inc. When I went to New York for law school it was, again, to go to my first-choice law school and because I wanted to live in New York. When I went to London during law school, it was because I was going to intern there, and because I wanted to see what it would be like to live there. When I went to Buenos Aires during law school, it was so that I could study law there and practice my Spanish and get to explore a new city. Lots of "I wanted" in that paragraph!
So, this is really the first time that I've gone somewhere not because of something I wanted to do, or for an opportunity for me, but because of somebody else's opportunities and career. When we first talked about moving, I was only concerned with being closer to him. We talked about me staying in New York for the duration of TBS and Naval Justice School and just moving at the end of all the training, but we didn't want to be long distance for that long. So we moved.
I really didn't think much of moving. After all, I'd adapted to plenty of other places before, and had never had any trouble. Sure, I'd loved my life in New York. But I figured, we were close enough to DC, and Alexandria itself is urban enough that I'd feel right at home.
I've been trying for days to figure out why I haven't adapted, and it has hit me. It's because this isn't about me. For once. Ahhh, I guess I'm growing up and figuring out what marriage and adult relationships are all about. I guess it's not going to be about just me anymore. And that's something else I'm adapting to.
PS-- please bear with me...I'm experimenting with layouts and photoshop and all that good stuff, trying to make the blog pretty! Let me know what you think.
