Sometimes, I wonder how the USMC doesn't just self-implode. It seems like they have this uncanny talent for over-complicating things! In a world where people aim to simplify, and where we have all this technology, I just don't understand why things have to be this difficult.
A couple of weeks ago, we had to go to DEERS to get me in the system. I go on the DEERS website for Quantico, and they say that I have to go with my sponsor. I ask them their hours; they're open from 0730 to 1500. Um, okay-- my sponsor is in training during that time. So I try to make an appointment for a day when he has off. Oh, on that day? They're only working until 12 noon and they're full (of course they are; I'm sure there are tons of people in the same situation!) I ask them if I can go to any DEERS location, or if it has to be Quantico. They say I can go to any other location, so I thank the lady on the phone, and start calling the list they have on their website.
Shouldn't be a big deal, right? WRONG. I quickly discover that all the phone numbers listed are incorrect! There are no websites. Finally, I Google one of the offices, and since it's on an Army base, I pull up a website. Lo and behold-- the Department of the Navy actually has a website where you can log on and make appointments at any DEERS office in the nation. So I make the appointment, then call to confirm they'll see us. I still had this nagging fear that it wouldn't work out, after all, if it was this easy, why didn't they tell us this on the Quantico website?
Everything was fine. We were in and out in 30 minutes, and we were able to get it done in Crystal City, just 15 minutes away, instead of Quantico, which takes an hour to get to (especially since the speed limit on base is 15 m.p.h.-- come on, that's less than at a school zone!) and where there is no parking. Seriously, USMC? Is it that difficult to have the scheduling website link on your website? How about making things just a little easier for us?
(and for those of you who are interested, this is the site).
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
It's Not About Me
I've been having a hard time with this move, in many ways. I just haven't adjusted as quickly as I usually have when moving to a new place. Usually, I'm exploring and figuring out what my new area has to offer, and quickly integrate myself into the new place. But, since I've been in Virginia, I've pretty much just kept to myself.
I was trying to figure out why yesterday. I went into DC for work in the early evening, and I realized that it was only the second time I'd been into DC since we moved. Oh, and the first time? It was to deliver some paperwork (again, a necessity), and I literally just went straight where I needed to go and back. I really couldn't figure out why I hadn't explored more, and then it hit me.
It's because this move wasn't about me. Every other time I've moved (well, as an adult, or at least since I headed off to college), it's been because I chose to go there. I moved away to Nashville to go to the college I chose. In the summer when I went to New York, it was because I wanted to go to New York, and it was so that I could intern at Time Inc. When I went to New York for law school it was, again, to go to my first-choice law school and because I wanted to live in New York. When I went to London during law school, it was because I was going to intern there, and because I wanted to see what it would be like to live there. When I went to Buenos Aires during law school, it was so that I could study law there and practice my Spanish and get to explore a new city. Lots of "I wanted" in that paragraph!
So, this is really the first time that I've gone somewhere not because of something I wanted to do, or for an opportunity for me, but because of somebody else's opportunities and career. When we first talked about moving, I was only concerned with being closer to him. We talked about me staying in New York for the duration of TBS and Naval Justice School and just moving at the end of all the training, but we didn't want to be long distance for that long. So we moved.
I really didn't think much of moving. After all, I'd adapted to plenty of other places before, and had never had any trouble. Sure, I'd loved my life in New York. But I figured, we were close enough to DC, and Alexandria itself is urban enough that I'd feel right at home.
I've been trying for days to figure out why I haven't adapted, and it has hit me. It's because this isn't about me. For once. Ahhh, I guess I'm growing up and figuring out what marriage and adult relationships are all about. I guess it's not going to be about just me anymore. And that's something else I'm adapting to.
PS-- please bear with me...I'm experimenting with layouts and photoshop and all that good stuff, trying to make the blog pretty! Let me know what you think.
I was trying to figure out why yesterday. I went into DC for work in the early evening, and I realized that it was only the second time I'd been into DC since we moved. Oh, and the first time? It was to deliver some paperwork (again, a necessity), and I literally just went straight where I needed to go and back. I really couldn't figure out why I hadn't explored more, and then it hit me.
It's because this move wasn't about me. Every other time I've moved (well, as an adult, or at least since I headed off to college), it's been because I chose to go there. I moved away to Nashville to go to the college I chose. In the summer when I went to New York, it was because I wanted to go to New York, and it was so that I could intern at Time Inc. When I went to New York for law school it was, again, to go to my first-choice law school and because I wanted to live in New York. When I went to London during law school, it was because I was going to intern there, and because I wanted to see what it would be like to live there. When I went to Buenos Aires during law school, it was so that I could study law there and practice my Spanish and get to explore a new city. Lots of "I wanted" in that paragraph!
So, this is really the first time that I've gone somewhere not because of something I wanted to do, or for an opportunity for me, but because of somebody else's opportunities and career. When we first talked about moving, I was only concerned with being closer to him. We talked about me staying in New York for the duration of TBS and Naval Justice School and just moving at the end of all the training, but we didn't want to be long distance for that long. So we moved.
I really didn't think much of moving. After all, I'd adapted to plenty of other places before, and had never had any trouble. Sure, I'd loved my life in New York. But I figured, we were close enough to DC, and Alexandria itself is urban enough that I'd feel right at home.
I've been trying for days to figure out why I haven't adapted, and it has hit me. It's because this isn't about me. For once. Ahhh, I guess I'm growing up and figuring out what marriage and adult relationships are all about. I guess it's not going to be about just me anymore. And that's something else I'm adapting to.
PS-- please bear with me...I'm experimenting with layouts and photoshop and all that good stuff, trying to make the blog pretty! Let me know what you think.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Girl Talk
I was in New York on Saturday for my new, part-time, work from home job, and took the opportunity to stay on Saturday night to have dinner with my girlfriends. I really miss my New York girls-- they're all smart, dynamic, professional women, and we always have a great time. I miss having a group of girls I can talk to about life, work, etc.
This past Saturday, we were talking about work. Two of my good friends are in MBA programs and have just started their summer internships, one is at a sort of crossroads with her career, and then there's me. Ever since I left the world of corporate law, we have had many, many discussions about what I want to do next, where I see my career/life going, etc. They asked me how I like my new job, and I was telling them how much I love it. I love working from home. I love it that my schedule still gives me time to take care of the house and work out and volunteer, and that I have the flexibility to accompany and fully support my Marine.
It feels weird to say this, but I've been realizing more and more that I really, really like staying at home. I never thought I'd be a woman who enjoys being at home all day, but lately, the thought of getting an out-of-home job has been stressing me out. Good thing, I guess-- I have realized that it is really hard to have a "traditional" career and be a military wife at the same time.
For starters, there is the total unpredictability of it. We have little idea where we will be stationed when he's done with training. That makes figuring out my next career move sort of difficult, obviously. And even once we know his duty station, there is the fact that the USMC can change its mind at any time, and send him wherever they need him most, whenever they want. So, even if I find a great job I really like, there is always the possibility I'll have to leave. At this point we have made a commitment to the USMC (well, he made the commitment to them; I made a commitment to him, though). Until he's out, his career has to come first.
This is an interesting turn of events! I never, in a million years, thought I'd be here. I always thought my career would be equally as important as my husband's, and that I could never, ever, happily put my career on the back burner.
I have been feeling guilty, though. Like I'm wasting my first-rate legal education, and slapping feminism on the face at the same time. Saturday, though, my friend was telling me how she read a study at business school saying that a high percentage of women with MBA degrees end up leaving the corporate world and not going back. I've been searching (to no avail, so far) for a similar study showing attrition rates of women with JDs. She was also saying how, if she were engaged or married, she wouldn't think twice about leaving her career behind.
This has gotten me thinking the past couple of days. I know that I'm much happier now than I was while I was working in an office everyday. I'm not bored, like I thought I would be. And, when I think about the women I knew who are very successful (and who had been solely dedicated to their careers), all I can think about is how I used to look at them and think, "I hope that's not me in ten/fifteen/twenty years." Of all my girlfriends, I can't think of one who wants to be those women, either.
So, what's going on? Is it really that our generation has realized that, contrary to our mothers' generation's belief, that women can't have it all? Or that having it all is exhausting? Or is it as simple as choices? As in, given a choice, most women would pick a healthy family life over a career? The thing is, though, I still don't think its politically correct for a woman to say she doesn't want a career. We're still expected to want it all. But what if we don't?
This past Saturday, we were talking about work. Two of my good friends are in MBA programs and have just started their summer internships, one is at a sort of crossroads with her career, and then there's me. Ever since I left the world of corporate law, we have had many, many discussions about what I want to do next, where I see my career/life going, etc. They asked me how I like my new job, and I was telling them how much I love it. I love working from home. I love it that my schedule still gives me time to take care of the house and work out and volunteer, and that I have the flexibility to accompany and fully support my Marine.
It feels weird to say this, but I've been realizing more and more that I really, really like staying at home. I never thought I'd be a woman who enjoys being at home all day, but lately, the thought of getting an out-of-home job has been stressing me out. Good thing, I guess-- I have realized that it is really hard to have a "traditional" career and be a military wife at the same time.
For starters, there is the total unpredictability of it. We have little idea where we will be stationed when he's done with training. That makes figuring out my next career move sort of difficult, obviously. And even once we know his duty station, there is the fact that the USMC can change its mind at any time, and send him wherever they need him most, whenever they want. So, even if I find a great job I really like, there is always the possibility I'll have to leave. At this point we have made a commitment to the USMC (well, he made the commitment to them; I made a commitment to him, though). Until he's out, his career has to come first.
This is an interesting turn of events! I never, in a million years, thought I'd be here. I always thought my career would be equally as important as my husband's, and that I could never, ever, happily put my career on the back burner.
I have been feeling guilty, though. Like I'm wasting my first-rate legal education, and slapping feminism on the face at the same time. Saturday, though, my friend was telling me how she read a study at business school saying that a high percentage of women with MBA degrees end up leaving the corporate world and not going back. I've been searching (to no avail, so far) for a similar study showing attrition rates of women with JDs. She was also saying how, if she were engaged or married, she wouldn't think twice about leaving her career behind.
This has gotten me thinking the past couple of days. I know that I'm much happier now than I was while I was working in an office everyday. I'm not bored, like I thought I would be. And, when I think about the women I knew who are very successful (and who had been solely dedicated to their careers), all I can think about is how I used to look at them and think, "I hope that's not me in ten/fifteen/twenty years." Of all my girlfriends, I can't think of one who wants to be those women, either.
So, what's going on? Is it really that our generation has realized that, contrary to our mothers' generation's belief, that women can't have it all? Or that having it all is exhausting? Or is it as simple as choices? As in, given a choice, most women would pick a healthy family life over a career? The thing is, though, I still don't think its politically correct for a woman to say she doesn't want a career. We're still expected to want it all. But what if we don't?
Friday, June 4, 2010
Fitness Friday
I read in a Women's Health once that women who are married or in long-term relationships have a more difficult time keeping their weight down than single women. And contrary to popular belief, the reason given was not because women got comfortable and let themselves go. The reason, according to the article, is that when women live with a man, they tend to eat what he eats, and because men in general need more calories than women, the women gained weight.
I have also noticed that the Marines have changed my guy's eating habits. For starters, he spends a lot of the day in some sort of physical activity. Add to it the fact that they're incredibly busy and do not have time to eat regular meals throughout the day, and he now approaches food much like how I imagine a hunter-gatherer would: if it's there, and available, he'll eat it until it's gone. Another difference that has taken some getting used to for me is that he now eats fast food, which we never used to eat in our former life. During OCS, when they actually were not fed regularly as part of the torture (errr....I mean, training) they were undergoing, the guys would actually immediately head to McDonald's on base as soon as they were secured for 24 hour liberty to scarf down as many Big Macs and French fries as they could before heading back to prison (I mean, the barracks).
When I first heard this new obsession with McDonald's (and Wendy's and Chick-Fil-A, and whatever else is out there), I was very, very surprised. We managed to date for four years and eat most of our meals together in that time, and never once eat fast food before he headed off to OCS (okay, so there was that one time when we decided to drive from Memphis to New Orleans and didn't have time to eat lunch before we left...but seriously, one time in four years). In fact, we had always talked about how much we didn't like fast food, and how unhealthy it was. But, on our drive down to Williamsburg we were hungry, and we stopped at...you guessed it...McDonald's. We also ate dessert on that trip...a lot. I started noticing that now, whenever we are together, he will always order dessert. And I will always eat it. I started panicking, thinking of that article-- is it in my future to gain a ton of weight?
I started to realize that, if the study is correct, Military wives (and wives of other men who work physically-demanding jobs) have it even harder than other wives. If women have the tendency to adopt their partners' eating habits, and Military men are eating anything that's in front of them to make up for all the calories they burn while on the job, then all of a sudden, I can see how it is very easy for Military wives to end up overweight, particularly as the stresses of small children and constantly changing routines are added on.
What do you think? Do you think that the Women's Health article was correct and we should be worried?
I have also noticed that the Marines have changed my guy's eating habits. For starters, he spends a lot of the day in some sort of physical activity. Add to it the fact that they're incredibly busy and do not have time to eat regular meals throughout the day, and he now approaches food much like how I imagine a hunter-gatherer would: if it's there, and available, he'll eat it until it's gone. Another difference that has taken some getting used to for me is that he now eats fast food, which we never used to eat in our former life. During OCS, when they actually were not fed regularly as part of the torture (errr....I mean, training) they were undergoing, the guys would actually immediately head to McDonald's on base as soon as they were secured for 24 hour liberty to scarf down as many Big Macs and French fries as they could before heading back to prison (I mean, the barracks).
When I first heard this new obsession with McDonald's (and Wendy's and Chick-Fil-A, and whatever else is out there), I was very, very surprised. We managed to date for four years and eat most of our meals together in that time, and never once eat fast food before he headed off to OCS (okay, so there was that one time when we decided to drive from Memphis to New Orleans and didn't have time to eat lunch before we left...but seriously, one time in four years). In fact, we had always talked about how much we didn't like fast food, and how unhealthy it was. But, on our drive down to Williamsburg we were hungry, and we stopped at...you guessed it...McDonald's. We also ate dessert on that trip...a lot. I started noticing that now, whenever we are together, he will always order dessert. And I will always eat it. I started panicking, thinking of that article-- is it in my future to gain a ton of weight?
I started to realize that, if the study is correct, Military wives (and wives of other men who work physically-demanding jobs) have it even harder than other wives. If women have the tendency to adopt their partners' eating habits, and Military men are eating anything that's in front of them to make up for all the calories they burn while on the job, then all of a sudden, I can see how it is very easy for Military wives to end up overweight, particularly as the stresses of small children and constantly changing routines are added on.
What do you think? Do you think that the Women's Health article was correct and we should be worried?
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Money Monday--My New Favorite Words
"Do you offer a military discount?"
Lately, I have noticed that a lot of places offer military discounts. Places that I wouldn't even have imagined offered a military discount. So, I have decided that when I find such discounts, I will post them here.
This weekend, we decided to take advantage of the Memorial Day 96 and head to Williamsburg, VA. The idea was to to enjoy a nice dinner together in Colonial Williamsburg, and enjoy a whole day at Busch Gardens riding roller coasters. We were searching for a place to stay, and I found that Kingsmill Resorts and Spa (http://www.kingsmill.com/) offers a 15% discount for active duty military. They are also wonderful-- they have free scheduled shuttles to and from the park and to Colonial Williamsburg during the day. The concierge said they did not offer shuttles into town for dinner, which was a bit of a bummer since taxis are expensive and we didn't want to drive, but when we asked the valet to call us a cab, he actually asked the shuttle driver to drive us to town. The driver then offered to come pick us up after dinner! A number of the staff are retired military, and they are very friendly and helpful.
When we got to Busch Gardens on Saturday, we found out that they actually offer free-- completely free!-- admission to active military and dependents, year-round. We just had to show military IDs, and they gave us a complementary admission ticket. It was a nice surprise-- we had thought they would be buy one, get one free or discounted, but never imagined admission would be completely free! Of course, they made back their money when we purchased several funny roller coaster pictures...and lots of beer (yay for the free shuttle and not having to drive!)
As I find great deals, I will place them in the Military Savings folder on Money Mondays! If you find something good, let me know!
Lately, I have noticed that a lot of places offer military discounts. Places that I wouldn't even have imagined offered a military discount. So, I have decided that when I find such discounts, I will post them here.
This weekend, we decided to take advantage of the Memorial Day 96 and head to Williamsburg, VA. The idea was to to enjoy a nice dinner together in Colonial Williamsburg, and enjoy a whole day at Busch Gardens riding roller coasters. We were searching for a place to stay, and I found that Kingsmill Resorts and Spa (http://www.kingsmill.com/) offers a 15% discount for active duty military. They are also wonderful-- they have free scheduled shuttles to and from the park and to Colonial Williamsburg during the day. The concierge said they did not offer shuttles into town for dinner, which was a bit of a bummer since taxis are expensive and we didn't want to drive, but when we asked the valet to call us a cab, he actually asked the shuttle driver to drive us to town. The driver then offered to come pick us up after dinner! A number of the staff are retired military, and they are very friendly and helpful.
When we got to Busch Gardens on Saturday, we found out that they actually offer free-- completely free!-- admission to active military and dependents, year-round. We just had to show military IDs, and they gave us a complementary admission ticket. It was a nice surprise-- we had thought they would be buy one, get one free or discounted, but never imagined admission would be completely free! Of course, they made back their money when we purchased several funny roller coaster pictures...and lots of beer (yay for the free shuttle and not having to drive!)
As I find great deals, I will place them in the Military Savings folder on Money Mondays! If you find something good, let me know!
Friday, May 21, 2010
Time Between Saturdays
I have realized that my life lately consists mostly of a countdown to the weekend. Even though I'm not exactly toiling away during the week (I mostly hang out with my cat, workout, lay out, beautify myself, clean a little, shop, and drink wine and watch bad TV) , I'm also alone Monday through Friday. In a town where I don't know very many people (and, of course, people my age tend to have pesky J-O-B-s and limited hang-out time).
Before my fiance started TBS (The Basic School, essentially Marine Officer Training), we joked about Time Between Saturdays. We had heard from Marines who had gone through TBS that they tended to be incredibly busy during the week, making mid-week visits difficult, especially since I chose not to live close to base. So essentially, going in, I knew I'd only see him on the weekends. Of course, when we made the decision, we had just gone through OCS, which was essentially ten weeks of incredibly limited communication, so the thought of being able to talk on the phone regularly and knowing that he'd have most weekends off sounded like total bliss.
Until we actually got here.
I'm just going to throw it out there: TBS is way harder than OCS. Sure, you can't talk during OCS-- but you know what to expect, and you somewhat get used to it. I didn't expect phone calls, and I knew I wouldn't see him at all, so I adapted. But now, I'm spoiled. I get the weekends with him, making the weekdays extra difficult. It's hard to go back to being alone (well, with my lovely kitty) after being around my baby all weekend! And, let's face it-- the weekends are never long enough. It takes forever for Friday night to roll around, but next thing we know, it's Sunday afternoon and we're scrambling to get him ready for the next week. And next thing I know, I'm eating fruit for dinner because I'm too lazy to cook anything, drinking wine and watching bad TV.
This afternoon, we had a conversation about how fast the weekends go, and how much it sucks to spend so much time apart. We both freely acknowledge that we're very spoiled; pre-Marines (to get into the spirit of things, I'm making up my own acronym: PM), we were both not working for around four months. Those four months were total bliss. From September to January, we would literally wake up every morning, whenever we felt like it, turn to each other and ask: "What do you want to do today?" and then we would do it. We did everything from scuba diving classes to hiking to indoor rock climbing to taking long walks to going out to fun dinners to singing kareoke until 4 am. We went from that to not seeing each other at all to this weekend-to-weekend existence. Thinking about that PM time makes it even harder to get through the hard, lonely TBS days.
It's hard to remember sometimes, though, that when people have full-time jobs, they have to make choices. We probably see each other about the same as we did when we were both in the corporate world (since our schedules would hardly ever match, we'd usually see each other in the middle of the night). Yes, we're in this mostly irritating, very structured training environment, and we only see each other on the weekends. But it's nice, for once, to look forward to Fridays. To have Saturdays mean coffee in bed and a leisurely breakfast while catching up with my fiance. And I just keep thinking how lucky I am to have a partner who was willing to take chances and put himself through hell and start all over again, just so we can find our place in the world and a lifestyle that makes us happier.
Before my fiance started TBS (The Basic School, essentially Marine Officer Training), we joked about Time Between Saturdays. We had heard from Marines who had gone through TBS that they tended to be incredibly busy during the week, making mid-week visits difficult, especially since I chose not to live close to base. So essentially, going in, I knew I'd only see him on the weekends. Of course, when we made the decision, we had just gone through OCS, which was essentially ten weeks of incredibly limited communication, so the thought of being able to talk on the phone regularly and knowing that he'd have most weekends off sounded like total bliss.
Until we actually got here.
I'm just going to throw it out there: TBS is way harder than OCS. Sure, you can't talk during OCS-- but you know what to expect, and you somewhat get used to it. I didn't expect phone calls, and I knew I wouldn't see him at all, so I adapted. But now, I'm spoiled. I get the weekends with him, making the weekdays extra difficult. It's hard to go back to being alone (well, with my lovely kitty) after being around my baby all weekend! And, let's face it-- the weekends are never long enough. It takes forever for Friday night to roll around, but next thing we know, it's Sunday afternoon and we're scrambling to get him ready for the next week. And next thing I know, I'm eating fruit for dinner because I'm too lazy to cook anything, drinking wine and watching bad TV.
This afternoon, we had a conversation about how fast the weekends go, and how much it sucks to spend so much time apart. We both freely acknowledge that we're very spoiled; pre-Marines (to get into the spirit of things, I'm making up my own acronym: PM), we were both not working for around four months. Those four months were total bliss. From September to January, we would literally wake up every morning, whenever we felt like it, turn to each other and ask: "What do you want to do today?" and then we would do it. We did everything from scuba diving classes to hiking to indoor rock climbing to taking long walks to going out to fun dinners to singing kareoke until 4 am. We went from that to not seeing each other at all to this weekend-to-weekend existence. Thinking about that PM time makes it even harder to get through the hard, lonely TBS days.
It's hard to remember sometimes, though, that when people have full-time jobs, they have to make choices. We probably see each other about the same as we did when we were both in the corporate world (since our schedules would hardly ever match, we'd usually see each other in the middle of the night). Yes, we're in this mostly irritating, very structured training environment, and we only see each other on the weekends. But it's nice, for once, to look forward to Fridays. To have Saturdays mean coffee in bed and a leisurely breakfast while catching up with my fiance. And I just keep thinking how lucky I am to have a partner who was willing to take chances and put himself through hell and start all over again, just so we can find our place in the world and a lifestyle that makes us happier.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
It's Official!
I'm a Marine-wife-to-be! We got engaged last weekend! I'm still a little in shock (and incredibly excited!) I took a break from staring at my beautiful engagement ring long enough to post this. The adventure continues...